With Love Book: What We Wish We Knew About Being Queer and Filipino in America

Fifty brave storytellers. Sixty-eight inspiring letters. Ten heartfelt lessons.

With Love: What We Wish We Knew About Being Queer and Filipino in America explores the intimate journey of queer Filipina/x/o individuals in America. Dr. Dustin E. Domingo delves into 68 letters by 50 queer Filipino Americans, sharing triumphs, setbacks, and 10 life lessons. Witness courage and vulnerability as contributors navigate societal norms, family dynamics, and LGBTQIA+ connections. This compassionate journey informs, celebrates, and comforts those on their queer journey. Whether queer, Filipino, or exploring intersectional identities, reflect on: What did you wish you knew?"

5.5 x 5.8 inches / 140 x 216 mm
220 Pages
979-8-9865457-9-0

TABLE OF CONTENTS

FOREWORD Grayson Villanueva
PREFACE
INTRODUCTION 

1. LESSON ONE - Life is hard. Forgive yourself.
Small World Big World – Dustin E. Domingo
Sometimes It Gets Worse – Sam C. Tenorio
I’m Sorry – Bryant de Venecia
Human, You Are – Ryan Dalusag, LCSW
Break You – Francis Joseph J. Gallego
It’s Not Easy Being Green – Patrick Anthony Asence-Arradaza
I Promise – AJ Johnson 

2. LESSON TWO - Beware of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-depletion.
Peanut – Manny Garcia
Baby Girl – Megan Dela Cruz
Barely Out of Third Grade – Toby Javier
It’s Not Your Fault – AJ Johnson
On Paths Leading To Where We Are – Dominic I.J.
Enough – Vanessa Aczon
Magpahinga, Dre – Andre Zarate

3. LESSON THREE - Be critical of your relationship to religion.
Letter to a Deacon’s Kid – Timothy A.M. Tumbokon
You Deserve More – Dr. Arnel Calvario Ripkens
23 and Me – Bunny Anne
10 Year Recap – MJ BH
Temporary Darkness – Lani Fontillas
Stop Those Hail Marys for a Second and Listen – P. M.
Jess Like You – Jessica Lustina Afable

 4. LESSON FOUR - Your parents were doing what they knew. Take it or leave it.
Loving by the Book – Alyssa B.V. Cahoy
Badge of Honor – Resi Ibañez
Leave Your Abuser – Bunny Anne
I Understand – Rana Rosanes 
Wag Ka Nang Malungkot – P. M.
20-Somethings – Ramon Alcantara 

5. LESSON FIVE - Find your chosen family.
Dance as if Everyone Is Watching – Dr. Arnel Calvario Ripkens
To Love Oneself – Gabe Sagisi
Gumagalang Magmula Sa Puso – elle Zulueta
Between the Lines – Gabriella Buba
The One to Be for the Ones Who Need – Harlee Castro Balajadia
Letting People In – Dr. Michelle Fortunado-Kewin
So Many Families – P. M.
I Refuse to Stop Dreaming – Warjay Naigan 

6. LESSON SIX - Break a few rules and have fun.
If I Could Tell You Right Now and Forever – Harlee Castro Balajadia
Flamboyant – Francis Joseph J. Gallego
Bahala Na: A Letter to Accept and Understand – AV AudVision
Baby Haze – Hazel Bondoc Carranza
Hoy, Love Yourself! – Mara De La Rosa
Keep Playing – TR Deanon 

7. LESSON SEVEN - Media has the power to change lives.
Cinderella – Jensen Reyes
Love Letter to a Late Bloomer – Paul Jochico
You Are Not the Filipino Rachel Berry – Brandon English
Personal Mythology – Nicholas Pilapil
For the Both of Us – Jonny Aliga
Embrace and Love Every Part of You – Jeff Deguia
Your Quiet – Blaine Valencia

8. LESSON EIGHT - Finding love and being loved is a damn journey.
Handle With Care – Jeff Deguia
When You Think You’re Hungry – tiano p.
In America – Jobert E. Abueva
Love Will Find You – Dr. Arnel Calvario Ripkens
Boy-Bawang Nose – Jonny Aliga
There Is No Word for Queer Femme in Tagalog – Dianara Rivera
Close Reading a Girl Crush – Alyssa B.V. Cahoy

9. LESSON NINE - You will experience loss and heartbreak.
Lessons in the Key of Life – JP Rogers
Salted – Gabriella Buba
Old Wounds – Francis Joseph J. Gallego
No One Talks About the Best Friend Breakup – Jeff Deguia
Don’t Wait – Mary Sabino
O Meets H – O. Ayes 

10. LESSON TEN - Unapologetically take up space.
Fashion Forward – Resi Ibañez
Stay You, Always – LJ Balajadia
Dear Black Sheep – Joel Baker
Bakla Bisayan-ness – Sean-Joseph Takeo Kah
Your Biggest Fan – AJ Johnson
Spaces Do Nothing...But With You, They Do Everything – Harlee Castro Balajadia
The Softest, Sweetest, and Most Queer Love Letter – Ron Blakely

WHAT NOW?
REFERENCES
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
CONTRIBUTING AUTHORS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ABOUT THE PUBLISHER

 

DR. DUSTIN E. DOMINGO is a writer, singer, performer, voice actor, podcaster, producer, educator and trier of new things. Based in Southern California, Dustin is a multidisciplinary creative and educator, dedicated to documenting histories and telling stories, especially those representing marginalized communities. Dustin holds a doctorate in organizational leadership and regularly seeks practical and artistic applications of his academic research, which explores diversity and cultural competence in shared spaces. His work has been published in various academic journals, books, and blogs. He produced for podcasts, including: MeSearch; The Stories We’re Proud to Share; HAVE YOU MET…; and Let’s Circle Back. His insights as a gay Filipino American man are featured in GAMChat Podcast; Insufferable Academics; and Kuwento Co. As a musician, Dustin was a founding member of Not So Sharp A cappella at UC Riverside, and a lead singer for Orange County based, #FOURTY4B. With #FOURTY4B, he released two albums: FOURTY4B and From Us. He is a singer for award winning group, Top Shelf Vocal, based in Los Angeles. With Filosophy, a subgroup of the Filharmonic composed of Asian American singers, Dustin is a regular live performer with credits at the Festival of Philippine Arts & Culture, Knott’s Berry Farm, Disney’s California Adventure, and Downtown Disney. His original songs, Leap, Simple, and Lonely Mind are featured tracks in discography by Norco Music. Other highlights include Dustin’s contributions as content and outreach coordinator for BakitWhy.com, an online community which sought to represent the diversity of the Filipino American lifestyle; as well as his leadership role of Director of Curriculum for Lakas Mentorship, a program where Filipino American youths may find a sense of belonging and develop their ethnic identity. Learn more at www.dustindomingo.com.